(A Response Paper typed for Terry's communications class)
“Empathy involves feeling and experiencing another person’s situation, almost as they do.” (Adler, Proctor & Towne, 2005, p. 38).
Empathy is the ability to put oneself into a condition or situation which closely resembles the emotional and sometimes physical state of another. My wife’s pregnancy has caused her to experience an array of emotional and physical changes as our unborn child grows and develops within. Nausea, mood swings, and a subtle weight gain are just a few of those changes. Wanting to improve my understanding of the pregnancy process, I picked up several books at my local library. Although I have gained a better understanding of these things, I have also, to a lesser degree, been able to share these experiences with her through my own empathic ability.
My wife told me that we were pregnant on my fortieth birthday. She found out two weeks before, but chose to keep it quiet to surprise me. Never before had I shared such a wonderful moment with another person, and laughing and crying were common recurrences that evening. The next morning is when we began to share other things as well. She was feeling nauseated, and for some reason, so was I. Not once in the two previous weeks had I picked up on her nausea, but now it filled the room like the scent of moldy cheese spilling from an opened refrigerator.
Mood swings are not as frequent as they could be, so I’m told. However, when a person bursts into tears while watching a two-minute human interest story during the halftime of a college football game, it doesn’t seem to matter how often they happen. We sat on the sofa together, feeling melancholy and watching the Vols get beat by Florida, giving a box of tissues a thorough workout.
In the year previous to the pregnancy, my wife and I exercised rather diligently about four to five times per week. We attempted to eat right, and other than the occasional trip to Lynn’s Paradise Café, we succeeded in this endeavor as well. Together, we lost a combined 25 pounds or so. Suddenly, this person who pushed so hard to bake or grill the chicken was dipping said chicken (now battered and fried) into non-fat-free ranch dressing and chasing it with a handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips. I, being empathetic and a good husband, sat down to share in this new age diet with the love of my life and bearer of my future offspring. Consequently, the wedding ring that I traded in for a smaller size just a few months ago now causes my finger to turn odd shades of red and purple. I have now put on about eight pounds since the wonderful news first broke. My wife has gained about the same.
I do not have a child growing in my abdomen. Therefore, my immune system is still strong and my sleeping habits have not dramatically changed. Do I know what it is like to be pregnant? No way, not even close. Do I empathize with those that do? Without a doubt I do. Nausea, mood swings, and weight gain aside, I love my wife and am experiencing in all this as much as I can. But if it was possible to trade off every other month and let me carry the baby once in awhile, I’m not so sure that I could. She is definitely a stronger person than I am.
Reading is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Knowledge it is not, however, control. I decided to return the books after having only skimmed the first few chapters of each. “Systemizing involves identifying the laws that govern how a system works. Once you know the laws, you can control the system or predict its behavior. Empathizing, on the other hand, involves recognizing what another person may be feeling or thinking and responding to those feelings with an appropriate emotion of one's own.” (Baron-Cohen, 2005). Simply put, we as people, especially men, want to understand how something works. On the other hand, if we would simply be empathetic to other people, instead of dissecting them, the world might be a better place.
Works Cited
Adler, R., Proctor, R. & Towne, N. (2005). “A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships.” Looking Out/Looking In. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
Baron-Cohen, Simon. “The Male Condition.” New York Times. 8 Aug. 2005.
“Empathy involves feeling and experiencing another person’s situation, almost as they do.” (Adler, Proctor & Towne, 2005, p. 38).
Empathy is the ability to put oneself into a condition or situation which closely resembles the emotional and sometimes physical state of another. My wife’s pregnancy has caused her to experience an array of emotional and physical changes as our unborn child grows and develops within. Nausea, mood swings, and a subtle weight gain are just a few of those changes. Wanting to improve my understanding of the pregnancy process, I picked up several books at my local library. Although I have gained a better understanding of these things, I have also, to a lesser degree, been able to share these experiences with her through my own empathic ability.
My wife told me that we were pregnant on my fortieth birthday. She found out two weeks before, but chose to keep it quiet to surprise me. Never before had I shared such a wonderful moment with another person, and laughing and crying were common recurrences that evening. The next morning is when we began to share other things as well. She was feeling nauseated, and for some reason, so was I. Not once in the two previous weeks had I picked up on her nausea, but now it filled the room like the scent of moldy cheese spilling from an opened refrigerator.
Mood swings are not as frequent as they could be, so I’m told. However, when a person bursts into tears while watching a two-minute human interest story during the halftime of a college football game, it doesn’t seem to matter how often they happen. We sat on the sofa together, feeling melancholy and watching the Vols get beat by Florida, giving a box of tissues a thorough workout.
In the year previous to the pregnancy, my wife and I exercised rather diligently about four to five times per week. We attempted to eat right, and other than the occasional trip to Lynn’s Paradise Café, we succeeded in this endeavor as well. Together, we lost a combined 25 pounds or so. Suddenly, this person who pushed so hard to bake or grill the chicken was dipping said chicken (now battered and fried) into non-fat-free ranch dressing and chasing it with a handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips. I, being empathetic and a good husband, sat down to share in this new age diet with the love of my life and bearer of my future offspring. Consequently, the wedding ring that I traded in for a smaller size just a few months ago now causes my finger to turn odd shades of red and purple. I have now put on about eight pounds since the wonderful news first broke. My wife has gained about the same.
I do not have a child growing in my abdomen. Therefore, my immune system is still strong and my sleeping habits have not dramatically changed. Do I know what it is like to be pregnant? No way, not even close. Do I empathize with those that do? Without a doubt I do. Nausea, mood swings, and weight gain aside, I love my wife and am experiencing in all this as much as I can. But if it was possible to trade off every other month and let me carry the baby once in awhile, I’m not so sure that I could. She is definitely a stronger person than I am.
Reading is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Knowledge it is not, however, control. I decided to return the books after having only skimmed the first few chapters of each. “Systemizing involves identifying the laws that govern how a system works. Once you know the laws, you can control the system or predict its behavior. Empathizing, on the other hand, involves recognizing what another person may be feeling or thinking and responding to those feelings with an appropriate emotion of one's own.” (Baron-Cohen, 2005). Simply put, we as people, especially men, want to understand how something works. On the other hand, if we would simply be empathetic to other people, instead of dissecting them, the world might be a better place.
Works Cited
Adler, R., Proctor, R. & Towne, N. (2005). “A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships.” Looking Out/Looking In. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
Baron-Cohen, Simon. “The Male Condition.” New York Times. 8 Aug. 2005.
